Crossroads: What do I do next?

By Xanthe Morris


What do I do next?

Since my official break up I’ve been working on finding myself. After 7 years of being one half of a couple, it’s safe to say I don’t know who I really am anymore. I find myself often asking…”what’s next?”

I’ve searched, looking for answers in other [short lived] relationships. I wanted to give my love away to anyone who would take it, giving them my time and attention to get my mind off all the wasted time I gave to my ex. I was looking for a distraction. I Tindered!… I even friend requested random guys…. I threw myself into my church, taking on multiple projects and service after service. And all of these things have been great distractions. But in the last four months of my single searching and wondering, I’ve come upon a revelation…I don’t care what’s next! It’s okay to not always know what’s ahead.

I’ve promised myself 6 months without dating.

The reason I promised myself this is because I know I need healing. I know my future boyfriend NEEDS me to be healed. I was always that girl that NEVER went without a boyfriend or at least seriously talking to a guy. And now here I am, month four, single and free, not talking to anyone, and I realize I LOVE it!!

I’ve decided that what’s next is I’m going to love myself. I’m going to love life. And I’m going to have SO much fun doing it.

I feel like I’m in my early twenties again, only wiser, I have respect for myself, I know my limits, and I have more money…hollaaaaa!

Another  person will come along when I am healed and happy with just being. In the meantime, my advice to myself and to anyone who finds themself asking what’s next is to FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE!


~ A Renaissance Woman